you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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