my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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