doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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