It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
