It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
