this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
