This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
