Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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