Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
they're like a gay fantastic four
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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