dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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