He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize