There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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