Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
