need another drink. this is the easiest way
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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