lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
