Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
