woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
