Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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