Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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