try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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