I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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