i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
