If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
