I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
