Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
