well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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