normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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