dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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