wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
