i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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