so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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