you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize