So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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