you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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