yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
