I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
