I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
