So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
