actually, I'm a sock model
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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