Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize