I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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