brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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