so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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