I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
