No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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