I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
