i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
