we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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