yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
