No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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