you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
birth control should be required to get into college
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize