dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
