break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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