he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
People in love make me want to vomit
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Houston, we have a squirter
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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