Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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