Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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