my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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