Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
