Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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