Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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