found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
