im drinking this country out of the recession.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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