I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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