Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Who died my cat blue again?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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