he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
