You just made me feel so damn special
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
