summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
