My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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